I Go Here Again

I'm walking backwards again

I can feel the loose gravel 

I can sense the plunge

I need to believe in the tied shoe

I need to not look back

I'm floating between land and air

I can hover on the current

It takes me into the heaviness

I am here hung like a wet pair of jeans

I barely move to dry when the wind blows me

I'm walking backwards again

THE BLIK BITCH

Sadness seeping in again

its not even raining

I could justify the soaking

if only I could reason why?

Why, can I never be truely happy?! 

Am I to suffer in my self loathing?

Am I to wander in this fog of smiles and nods?

What about the human spirit, the dreamer and lover

its as if they are on an endless path 

to stubborn to stop and try something new, find a different escape

Always the same thing and in circles no less

I hate circles, they make me vomit

Sigh, I just want to vomit.

nacht.

The Impossible Lawn

mow the grass

shoe stained mass

clumps of green

fragrent scene

zig zag weaves

motor heaves

thick and lush

mowers hush

..."Summer, summer, summer..."

It feels like that scene from Highschool Musical 2. It's sticky, it's shiny and the day is screaming Summer! I can't wait for the ho hum of life to not be school. I'm so tired of the drama my son seems to be dealing with. I know it will continue on next year as the classmates will be the same 'little darlings' they are now. *Sigh* I just want to have lazy mornings in jammies with waffle sticks. Come on summer, summer, summer.

Tackling Weeds

Weeding today. It was refreshing to get back to my Virgo senses and take care of the Earth. I battled the weed from hell today. I'll be battling it all week it appears. While I take weeds out , my senile old neighbor plants them , tends to them, makes a nice border of weed buddies. She's insane, it's nice. My finger tips are so sore that even typing is a chore. I found myself wandering off in thought today while weeding. Thinking about my mixed up life and how the two are alike. I'm so filled with my own weeds , my body a garden left in ruin. I wish I could find the key, like a little girl exploring, behind some rocky wall; I'd unlock the vine door and enter once again into my secret garden, my soul.

Passwords

I've missed so many months here because I couldn't remember a password. Oh well, I'm back and trying to figure out   this new layout.